The New Year. An ambivalent yet exciting time. For some it means a fresh new start or a breather from a hectic year, whereas for others it's the continuation of an already happy or unhappy one. For me, it's a brand new start. I'm not entirely sure what I'll be doing but I do know that I'm feeling hopeful about what's to come. Next year will be my late gap year, where I'll be working and travelling and pursuing my creative interests. Despite looking forward to it, I am feeling bittersweet about it. I think that's mainly due to letting go of this past chapter of my life and moving onto a new one.
Change, no matter what form it's in, is uncomfortable. And that's normal. We shed our skin and await the new skin growth. It means that we are growing and adjusting to new situations and emotions. It's a restless time, where we want the old skin to be gone, and the new skin to come quickly, free of any discomfort.
What I've been learning these past 2-3 months is to accept the feeling, not push it away or allow it to overwhelm us, which can make the feeling seem worse than it actually is. It's hard to do at first but with practise it's well worth it. As cliche as it is, letting go and resting in the unknown and getting on with life/setting new goals is all we can do, until one day we realise we have outgrown our old skin and have started to embrace our new skin. We can breathe a sigh of relief for having a small foothold on which to start.
With the New Year, we can also be thankful. It's another year not to just exist, but to live: to explore, try new things, grow, learn, and challenge ourselves. We can also be thankful for the past year, that we have survived our bad days, that we are still here, and that there is still hope and that there are many good (even great!) days to come. So just breathe in, breathe out, and allow the past to slide away, making room for the future. And no matter what happens, or how the tables turn, we will always have Jesus and can trust in His plan for our lives.